February 13th, 2012


Week 013: Where am I

So I've been occasionally itchy. And I've been occasionally sore. And I can feel that there's a liiiitle bit more dense tissue behind my nipples. Barely.

Now, I've been tryin' to keep reserved' about psychosomatics. I don't wanna jus' leap at any impulse I get and give in to the whole "I'm feeling the effects!" thing... but man. I think shit's starting f'real.

I'm so goofy. Wild emotional swings, maybe one boner a month, no body odour, but I get a slight ache in my boobs and I'm all "OMG IT'S BECOMING REAL".

Anyway, it's good. It's like progress.

Dear friend of mine sent me this episode about transgender kids. It's adorable, but there's some heavy stuff in there. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve all this. Like I"m just some tourist recklessly fucking around in territory where I don't belong. This feeling doesn't STOP me... but it doesn't help me feel any more at home in the world.

So annoying. If I DIDN'T go through with this, I know I'd be shit-miserable and things would get continuously worse... AND I wouldn't feel like I belonged anywhere.

Ah, I'm being dramatic. I have friends (and a wife) that love me dearly and are awesome. I've got a great job and life. I should go enjoy and appreciate that stuff. <=)

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