February 27th, 2012

Hippo

Week 15: Attaboy (Slashgirl)

Slow week on the transition front. The emotions are jus' running wild on me, so I'm working on figuring out coping strategies. My ups are awesome, but my downs are INTENSE. Several weepy episodes to date. REALLY hoping and trying to not be insufferable.

I don't know if my muscle mass has decreased or not... my arms feel smaller, but I haven't kept close track, so I don't know for sure... I think that either way, my metabolism is definitely tanked. We'll see how I do when it's not winter, but I'm goddamn cold ALL the time. an' it's my extremities that get it. SO annoying, man. I got fatter, so I get WARMER. Dem's th' Rules.

Sex drive: I was surprised recently by actually bein' aroused by something. <=) I'm so used to arousal being a constant on-state that needs to be perpetually managed in order to interact with civilized society. It's kinda interesting to have a dirty thought pop up and go "Oh, yeah." as I remember what that's like.

I've got wisps of other things on my mind... stuff about feeling weirdly alienated and increasingly scared of the future while simultaneously being frustrated at my slow progress (though I'm reading folks' testimonies DAILY who're having less progress than me)... but nothing's especially coherent.

I feel weird a lot lately.

-343
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