May 21st, 2012


Week 27: Go for the bag with the army

Don't even know where to begin. Life's runnin' roughshod over me these days, so it's hard to stay focused on transition-related shizz.

I had my doctorly followup, that went well! I don't think he was worried about the same stuff I was worried about. The "Autogynephilia" thing WAS a concern for him, but I didn't resonate with the word the way the word's actually defined. He kept asking me about sexual fantasies, and none of them actually involved me havin' a lady-body (well, not a predominant amount of 'em, anyways). I think I was able to satisfy dude that havin' a lady-body is just important to me as a matter of identity and presentation. All the ducks seem to be in order, but we were discussing the WPATH guidelines, and how the latest thinking says that an Orchi can come after a year of HRT, so the doc was sayin' he feels more comfortable if we meet again sometime in like, September. So whatever. One less thing to worry about RIGHT NOW. I'll get these beans lopped off soon enough.

Lessee... Changes... changes... My eyelashes seem to be thicker and fuller? Might be getting a tiny bit more hippy? Had an orgasm today that slowly built and washed over me like a wave... that was kinda weird. Most orgasms I've ever had have been the kind of thing where I build up to it then there's an explosion of release and then it's done. This one I could feel rippling up until no, I was pretty sure I was cumming, then yes, it's definitely happening, and then like, 40 seconds later it's sleepytime. That's another thing... I've had me some veeeerrry long orgasms lately. Dunno if it's related or what, but yeah. Weird. Fun, but weird.

So I got a bit bummed out recently seein' a buncha friends of mine typing "him" and "he" with regards to me. I've bitched about this pronoun thing before around here, but I was discussing it with some reddit folks in the Genderqueer community, and one kid was sayin' thet she's never been especially PHYSICALLY dysphoric, but she's socially really annoyed by that shit. Thought that was an interesting distinction to make. And I don't even think I have it that BADLY, but homegirl recommended jus' using exclusively feminine words when folks asked or if writing about herself online, but not making a big deal out of it one way or the other when folks talked to her. She said it ended up doin' a good job of splittin' the "hims" and "hers" she'd get reasonably well (and naturally, I use th' femmy words 'cuz solidarity).

Okay. I now return to my regularly scheduled overwhelming life.

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