November 5th, 2012

Hippo

Week 51: If you're going to have a relationship with me, it's important that you recognize who "me"

Jus' shot off a letter to my folks. Little bit nervous about it. Last time we were on th' phone, mom was yellin' somethin' to paps about me an' misgendered me about nine times in a row. I know she didn't MEAN anything malicious about it, but that shit went from mildly annoying to "Seriously? You HONESTLY don't know how upsetting that is!?". Bunch of not-cool. So yeah. Shot the folks a letter basically saying that I'm their daughter and they don't have to LIKE it, but if they don't recognize, they're putting distance between us.

I KNOW they love me. They're basically sweet folks. And I KNOW this Transition thing is tough to bear and deal with. But y'know. It's tough for me, too. And misgendering's somethin' that eats at me. And Eff them.

Goin' to vote tomorrow. I've head a buncha bullshit about voter suppression of Transfolks, but I'm not the kind of case that folks can really fuck with. Some folks were apparently gettin' shit for having their appearance mismatch with their ID gender, or y'know... having a name mismatch or something. I HOPE I won't have any problems. My state's votin' how I plan to vote anyway, so hopefully I'll be alright.

Also gettin' my Female License (fingers crossed) this week. Big week. I've sorta mentally resolved that as soon as I get the lady-license, it's all girls-bathrooms for me. Scary concept, but I'm feeling less an' less comfortable in the dude-bathrooms. I'll report back on how things go, obviously. Might not even get the license changed. Who knows? I've read horror stories. <=\

Kissed my sweetie-pie the other night and it was... different somehow. For the first time, it felt like a girl-girl kiss. SUCH a deep mixture of joy and stress from that epiphany, 'cuz what if SHE felt it? I'd ADORE being thought of as a girl by her, but she's hetero. She locks me into the "girl" category, that's it. I'm out of the "potential partner" category. Or, y'know, we roll with it and see where things end up. It's impressive how many things have been flexible where they once seemed intractable. Then again, y'know. Compromises are acceptable 'till they aren't.

-343
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