May 13th, 2013

Hippo

Week 78 - On the causes and Effects of Visibility

It's strange to feel my interactions change with those around me. I've never thought that I wasn't PRIVILEGED by being male... It's just hard to feel it until things change. Of course, I don't really know how much of this is changing in ME, how much is confirmation bias, and how much is actual society, but things are perceptibly different.

Interacting with ladies: I'm regarded as "one of the girls" by a lot of my co-workers. I'm still as filthy as I've ever been, still "unladylike" (whatever that means) in my demeanour... But I feel as though girls I work with are at ease with me in ways that they weren't, pre-transition. I mostly jus' go to lunch with ladies at my new studio... been invited to parties... only times I've slept over in the city were stayin' at a ladyfriend's house. So strange to see the world change around me when I feel as though what I've ACTUALLY changed has been so superficial. But perhaps I do behave differently now. Dunno.

So a while back, I saw a kid with a "They/them" button. Thought their visibility was righteous so I painted a Trans* Pride symbol on my bag. Big and proud and pink as fuck. I'm sure I mentioned it in here before, but I can't find reference to it. Well, that shit paid off recently. I was at the train station about to come home and a chick behind me complimented me on my bag. "I'm thinking of getting that symbol tattooed on me", she said, at which point I recognized that she might actually be trans, too. I thought it was amazingly cool, wished her well, went about my day, then met her an' her sweetie-pie on the train ride home. Small fuckin' world. Hangin' out with other transkids is a trip. I guess I didn't think it'd be that important to me until I met 'em. Hopefully we'll get to double-date with the kids sometime soon. Meeting more queer kids in my town could only rule.

-343
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